Depression has been a constant companion of mine since my early teenage years and has persisted throughout my 20’s. I have no doubt that I have found a life long friend in depression. Sometimes the bouts are deeper than others. On my worst days I resort to heavy drinking followed by spending many days in bed consumed by darkness, unable to even get up to take a shower. I let responsibilities slide and do just enough work to pay the rent. Nobody can reach me on my phone when I’m in this state. I block out the entire world and recluse like some creature of the night. I find solace in the late night hours when I know most of this world is sleeping and it is only me. Maybe I’ll go for a long walk at night and then hit up the 7/11 for my first meal in quite some time. Talking to the cashier is the first real human interaction in what seems like forever. I feel strange.
